Beneath the Snows

"When the night is cold and lonely and the road has been too long
 . . . just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows,
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love, in the spring becomes the rose."
~Amanda McBroom, "The Rose"

I've been dealing with a lot of grief lately -- it's been one of those years. Things have been happening in my family that have been pretty hard, and while I know there are others who are dealing with much greater difficulties than mine, the grief is there just the same.

Grief affects each of us differently, it seems to paralyze me. The smallest tasks feel way too hard, and I don't have much interest in doing them. If it weren't for deadlines and appointments, I probably wouldn't get any work done. (I kept trying to get to my blog here and just couldn't seem to attend to it.) Days pass slowly, and I use all my energies to keep the grief from overtaking everything completely. 

I think of songs like "The Rose" quoted above and try to remember that even this grief is just for a season.

But then Christmas time started happening and all around me were decorations, lovely Christmas lights, and for me, the advent focus on celebrating the birth of Christ.

When I encountered carolers outside my grocery store, they were singing of another Rose, a flower that came "amid the cold of winter," a flower whose fragrance "dispels with glorious splendor the darkness everywhere" (Lo How a Rose E're Blooming).

And I remembered again that I do have a Light -- even in the midst of my grief -- one that has nothing to do with my own self. A light that is here for me even without my asking for it. A hope that transcends anything that may be happening in my world. I felt so thankful to know that.  

I think regardless of what you might believe about the deity of Christ, the fact remains that Jesus did bring a message of peace when he came into the world: about loving your fellow humans beings on this earth, about hope for having peace in our own hearts. And for those who do believe in Him, a message about being loved by God in a way that is beyond human comprehension.

Taking that in once again this Christmas was truly a gift for me.  

I smiled at the thought of changing "The Rose" lyric above to "with the Son's love" because I believe His love for us will be the way my family and I get through our grief, and what will allow the seeds of hope that lie beneath our winter snows to flower.

So today, as I say goodbye to the difficulties of this year, I'm not trying to conjure up some motivational speech to tell myself about starting a new year. I'm quietly sitting with where I am -- grief and all -- and with the blessed assurance of an unfailing Light, Hope, and Love. 

Wishing you light in the darkness and hope when you're lost,
Kay
www.confidentconflict.com