“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.” ~Goethe
Today's the day I begin my first blog.
That seems like a simple enough sentence, doesn’t it? Well, for me, beginning is something that isn’t quite that simple to do. The hardest part of working on my PhD dissertation was facing that blank page with the start of each new chapter. It wasn’t for lack of material, I had quite a bit I could write about -- it was putting down those very first words, crafting that first sentence -- deciding how to begin.
That seems like a simple enough sentence, doesn’t it? Well, for me, beginning is something that isn’t quite that simple to do. The hardest part of working on my PhD dissertation was facing that blank page with the start of each new chapter. It wasn’t for lack of material, I had quite a bit I could write about -- it was putting down those very first words, crafting that first sentence -- deciding how to begin.
Oh, I enjoy all the initial work of starting a new project – coming up with the ideas, doing the research, making the plan – my difficulty is in taking that first step of action. I’m pretty sure it’s because in that instant I come face to face with the reality that no matter how much prep work I’ve done, I really don’t know where I’m going (I’ve never been there before!) and the hesitancy comes over me.
Yet there is something so energizing about beginning something new -- bringing something into existence that wasn’t there before -- and it’s that energy that makes us feel we are truly engaging in life. After all, that’s the stuff of life, isn’t it? -- New beginnings? A new month, a new year, a new day full of God’s new mercies. Starting a new job or a new school semester, having a new baby. That’s the draw for me, why I keep trying to begin. I don’t want to just watch other people do something, I want to do something too – no matter how far short of perfection I may fall. I want that engagement. But somehow, that one, completely unavoidable moment of action, of commitment – of risk –
still requires something of me, some kind of leap. There just doesn’t seem to be any bridge to take me easily across the divide between my comfort in the known and my total lack of experience with the thing I’m trying to begin.
So, today, I will finish this first entry, take a deep breath, and truly believing that “Providence will move too,” I will click “Publish Post,” and begin.
I invite you to come along with me on my new journey through BlogLand. No matter the unknowns of this road, one thing I do know for sure, as I’m traveling on it, I will love the company.
Happy February!
Kay
